


Trunks the Matchmaker

by Varmint



Series: Saiyan Love Multiplied; Not Divided [1]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Can't No One Tell Him Otherwise, Complete, Cute Kids, Established Relationship, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Making Stuff Up As I Go Along, Matchmaking, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Saiyan Culture, Short & Sweet, Trunks Has Two Dads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-17 21:16:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14197857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Varmint/pseuds/Varmint
Summary: Yamcha lived a good enough life. Then Trunks called him dad... In front of Vegeta. Rare pair! Bulma/Yamcha/Vegeta with Bulma/Vegeta at the beginning.





	1. Chapter 1

Quick A/N: I'm a weirdo. And I read a Goku/Chi Chi/Yamcha fic last night. So this was born!

Pairing(s): Bulma/Vegeta and (endgame) Bulma/Yamcha/Vegeta

Please enjoy~

..~..~..

It had been a normal day when it happened. There had been absolutely nothing wrong with the day- if anything, it had been so perfect that it had been completely unassuming and seemed to be yet another unimportant yet pleasant day in his life. In retrospect, he should have known that this kind of good day wasn't normal for him. He should have known that weird days where at least  _one_  odd thing happened were his usual cup of tea. He should have known that a day so good was too good to be true.

But he hadn't thought much of the day as he'd gone through the motions of his usual morning routine before he made his way to Capsule Corp so he could take care of Trunks.

Sometimes, when he looked at the half-saiyan child, Yamcha would be hit with a pang of 'this was supposed to be my life'. Sometimes, the true weight of how badly both he and Bulma had messed up in their relationship hit him like Goku flying at full speed. It was never fun to think about the life he might have been able if he had just been able to  _change_.

His life wasn't bad, though. He wasn't a fighter anymore, he'd been surpassed so long ago that it just wasn't worth trying to catch up to his friends. That didn't mean he was sad, though. Instead of training to be stronger, he just focused all of his energy on his baseball career to make a real career for himself. He also worked on perfecting his cooking craft. And, if he dared say so, he believed his labors were bearing fruit, if the way Bulma always asked him to bring some kind of pastry he made every time he went to babysit her child.

Besides, his relationship with all of his friends was good and stable. It had taken a while, but he and Bulma had been able to talk through their issues and reached an understanding: they had been idiots as lovers; they would try to just be good friends. And, until now, that had worked. They weren't precisely  _best_  friends, but they weren't foolish enough to try and deny the fact that they used each other as emotional supports more often than not.

Hell, even his relationship with Vegeta had reached a point he never would have been able to see years ago when he'd first arrived: the guy didn't point out his status as a weakling every single time they spoke. They weren't friends and Yamcha honestly believed the guy just wasn't capable of forming any actual relationship with anyone other than Bulma and Trunks. But they tolerated each other and Vegeta barely ever insulted him.

Recently, the only actual time Yamcha was graced with the misfortune of being insulted by the prince of a mostly extinct race was when Trunks was around. It was pretty weird, actually, how defensive Vegeta seemed to get whenever he saw them hanging out together. If it had been anyone other than  _Vegeta_ , Yamcha would have thought he was jealous. But seeing how it  _was_  Vegeta, he just attributed it to some weird saiyan pride thing and not wanting his son to be anywhere near a weak human.

When he reached Bulma's house, he was greeted by a warm hug before the chocolate cake he had brought for the family was stolen away by the matriarch. Yamcha smiled softly as he stepped into the house and closed the door behind him, Bulma already long gone and undoubtedly on her way to the kitchen to cut a piece from the cake before leaving with Vegeta.

Once the door was closed, Yamcha made his way towards the living room. There he found Trunks playing on the large carpet in the very center, all the while Vegeta sat with his arms crossed over his chest on the couch directly behind the boy. The much too big TV Bulma barely even used was turned on and images from some kind of music video were flashing, but the volume was rather low.

"Good morning." He smiled tentatively at Vegeta before his eyes fell on Trunks.

The kid jumped up with a gasp. He turned his head to look at him so fast that Yamcha was sure any normal human would have gotten whiplash from the harsh movements. And then Yamcha found a blur of gray, green, and blue rushing towards him.

"Dad!"

Trunks slammed into him with so much force that he would have been able to make anyone else fall to the ground. But Yamcha stood his ground and remained upright as Trunks arms wrapped around his neck. He smiled as he wrapped his own arms around the kid's back, holding him in place before he could fall to the ground.

As small as he was, Trunks had way too much energy. Barely even four years old and- Wait a minute. What had he said?

The smile slowly faded from his lips as he tried to connect the name shouted by the kid with his actions. But it didn't make any sense... Trunks hadn't run up to his father... He'd... Oh no.

"Uh, Trunks?"

"Yeah, dad?"

There was no denying it. Trunks had called him dad.

What in the world?!

Damage control time before Vegeta ripped his head off!

"My name's Yamcha." He didn't know what in the world he could do to try and fix the situation. Trunks had just called him dad in front of his actual father. An actual father that could turn him to dust in the blink of an eye. "Your dad's sitting over there."

"No, he's my father."

The ex-bandit blinked in complete confusion as the child smiled broadly. Trunks looked legitimately genuine- he didn't have a mischievous look about him like he'd normally get on his face whenever he was doing something that would get him in trouble. It didn't  _look_  as if he was trying to stir up trouble, but...

"There's no point trying to talk him out of this, human."

Vegeta's growling voice made Yamcha immediately pale and freeze. He willed himself, though, to look towards the prince to see if it had really been him talking, or if he had finally gone insane and was hearing people that weren't talking in his head.

"That damned school he's been sent to has ruined any chances of teaching him properly."

"Nah uh! You're my father 'cause you beat people up and teach me fighting stuff! Mom's my mom because she is. And dad's my dad because he takes care of me and tucks me in at night! That's how it works!" Trunks jumped down to the floor, completely missing the way that Yamcha stood frozen in fear behind him. "Kiko's dad lives outside her house, too. It's normal."

Vegeta rolled his eyes and didn't bother answering his son. Instead he looked directly into Yamcha's eyes with a glare so cold the ex-bandit believed this would be his last day in the land of the living.

The day had been so good, too...

Trunks huffed at his father's silence then turned back to Yamcha with a determined set to his jaw. "You're my dad."

It was at that point that Bulma entered the living room with a large piece of cake on a plate. She seemed to be as surprised by Trunk's words because she froze up in the doorway, eyes wide and much too shocked to properly fake.

"T-Trunks?"

The boy looked over at his mother and nodded, "Yeah?"

Her eyes shifted from her son over to Vegeta, then quickly to Yamcha, and finally back to Trunks. Then she forced a tight smile onto her lips as she leaned down slightly to offer the slice of cake for him.

"How about you go to your room to enjoy your cake? I need to have a quick adult conversation with... Uh..."

"Both my dads?" The kid finished, shrugged softly, and grabbed the cake. "Okay."

Yamcha didn't want him to leave.

He wasn't sure if there existed anything aside from Trunks' presence in the room that would stop Vegeta from killing him.

... Well, he'd lived a good enough life.

~..~..~

Hope you liked this! It'll be a simple story (no more than three chapters) so I hope you enjoy the miniature ride.

Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

"Okay, what in the world was that about?" Bulma questioned as soon as her son was gone, focused mostly on Yamcha.

The ex-bandit shrugged with a small murmur of 'I dunno'.

He really didn't. This was the first he'd heard about anything of this manner. He had been helping her and Vegeta take care of their son for at least two years now, and this was literally the first time he had ever heard Trunks call him anything other than 'Yammi'. The 'ch' sound in his name had always been rather difficult for him, so it had only been normal for him to come up with a nickname for his main caretaker.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Bulma glared, crossing his arms over her chest as she jutted her hip out in that 'I know you're up to something' stance Yamcha knew well. "Why is my son calling you dad? What did you tell him?"

"I didn't tell him anything!" He immediately defended himself, very aware of how truly dangerous Bulma could become when she jumped to conclusions. "I haven't even been around him for the past month, Bulma. Remember? Baseball career took me on a tour away from here?"

She frowned and huffed, allowing Yamcha to breathe just a bit easier. She wasn't happy, but she knew that he was not to blame for what had happened.

"Then why in the world is my son calling you his dad? Last I checked, that was supposed to be _Vegeta_."

Upon hearing his name, the saiyan prince grunted.

Yamcha suddenly remembered why it was that he wanted to leave Capsule Corp. And, no, it wasn't because of how angry Bulma could get. It was because he had accidentally and unwittingly been placed on an equal status as a saiyan prince by his son.

Vegeta wasn't the kind of guy that gave a shit about what anyone thought of him... _Normally_. But one would have to be deaf, blind, and dumb to not see how much he truly cared about his family's wellbeing and opinions. He had to care- there was no way a guy like him would stick with Bulma the harpy and Trunks the super nova of endless energy otherwise.

"This isn't the first time the boy has called the weakling such a thing, woman."

Oh, Vegeta... Such a way with names... It was as if he had a game that he would lose if he called anyone by their actual name.

"What?" Bulma blinked at him, anger turning into confusion. "What are you talking about, Vegeta? This is the first time I hear about this."

"It's the first time I hear it too!"

They ignored him.

Yamcha was mostly used to it.

Vegeta's frown seemed even heavier than the one he normally wore. His usual expression was one of boredom and mild irritation. This one, though, seemed to have more than just _that_ behind it... It was almost as if something was actually bothering the saiyan... Like, something more than just his usual triggers.

"The boy came back from school a while ago proclaiming the weakling to be his dad."

"And you didn't tell me?"

Vegeta turned away from her and closed his eyes, "You were busy with your machines. I wanted to train."

Bulma scoffed in disbelief, "So you let our son believe that it's okay to call Yamcha dad? _You're_ his father, you lumbering oaf!"

"He is aware of that- my child is not stupid." Vegeta growled back with a glare, turning to look at his wife once again. "He merely believes that he has more than just two parents. I told you that school of weaklings would do nothing good for him."

Yamcha had the distinct feeling that he was in the middle of an argument he wasn't supposed to be in. From the way Bulma's face twisted into an angered snarl and Vegeta kept his own dark eyes narrowed in challenge, it was extremely clear for him to see that they had actually fought over this specific topic plenty of times before. And, just as he could tell they had fought before, he could tell that he didn't want to be anywhere near them if they began to argue over this again.

"We can't let Trunks run around without a proper education! He needs school, Vegeta."

"Hn. That's what you foolish humans think."

Yamcha stepped forward with his hands clasped together in front of him, hoping for peace. "Guys, come on, this isn't the time to fight about that. Now's the time to figure out a way to explain to Trunks why I can't be his dad without making him feel like an idiot."

"Are you telling me what to do with my child?" Vegeta challenged, making Yamcha immediately recoil, take a step back, and regret ever having thought that he had a pleasant relationship with him. "If my son wants to call you his dad simply because you take on a woman's role, so be it. That child is smart enough to know what he wants. Saiyan children are smarter than what you're used to, undoubtedly."

Bulma became inflamed once again at Vegeta's words. Vegeta remained defiant and confrontational, looking at his wife as he _wanted_ her to fight him. And Yamcha only shook his head in true disappointment.

As those two got into that argument he'd been hoping to avoid, the human decided to truly take a chance and think over the situation.

Trunks was a smart kid. He never did anything without having a reason to. So he hadn't called Yamcha 'dad' just because he felt like having some fun. He was a kid that understood some of the weight words could hold within- he wasn't about to play around with them so loosely.

Yes, Yamcha had taken on a rather nurturing role when it came to him. He was like the son he had always wanted but had yet to have. Even though it had been hard to accept his loss against Vegeta as Bulma's partner, Yamcha had never been able to deny how much of a good person Trunks could grow to be. It had been hard to look at him as a newborn child, back when the wounds had still been fresh... But now Yamcha couldn't even imagine a world in which he wasn't a part of Trunks' life.

Bulma was an interesting blend of a hands on/hands off mother. She had a mothering instinct within her, no matter how much she tried to deny it. But she could sometimes miss some things that were pretty obvious to him; like when Trunks wanted to go to the park to spend time with her, but she was too busy with her work, so she told him they would go some other day. It all depended on the day, really. Sometimes she was the one pushing to go out with her son, but he just wanted to stay indoors to play videogames.

Usually, though, when Bulma didn't want to take him to the park and Yamcha was around, Trunks wound up being accompanied by him instead of by either of his parents.

Every single time he came to visit and take care of the boy, he'd bring pastries he knew the boy loved. And when it was just them, he would cook up the boy's preferred meals and they'd always make a fun night. Sometimes, even, Yamcha made enough for Trunks to have leftover to take with him to school if his visits occurred during the school term.

And, okay, yeah, he would always try to offer sound advice or intelligent answers whenever Trunks came to him with actual confusions he didn't want to ask his parents about.

Also, sure, he had gone to a few school functions with the boy because Vegeta refused to deal with anything of the like and Bulma was too busy trying to make the world a better place one invention and a time...

Yamcha's eyes widened in sudden clarity.

"Oh no..."

Bulma stopped her growling to look over at him. "Yamcha?"

"Oh _no_..."

Vegeta scoffed and growled, "Spit it out, human."

Yamcha looked over at Bulma for one second. Then he turned to Vegeta. And, finally, he hung his head. "It all makes sense."

"What're you talking about?" Bulma questioned curiously, taking a step towards him while Vegeta merely huffed and uncrossed his arms so he could place his hands on his hips.

"Trunks calling me dad." He started slowly, extremely aware that he was currently walking on an extremely volatile patch of metaphorical thin ice... If the ice had bombs planted underneath its surface.

They were both glaring at him.

Yamcha wasn't about to tell them that it was _all_ their faults that Trunks had a skewed understanding of family dynamics. Even though Vegeta being an off handed father wasn't anything that would insult him, he really didn't want to have to explain to Bulma why it was that her son thought that there were some things Yamcha did for him that a mother was known for doing.

He fumbled around for a moment, trying to find something to say other than what he had thought of saying. As he racked his mind for _anything_ that might give him a shot at salvation, he thought back to what Vegeta had said. And he became confused.

"Wait a minute... Vegeta, are you _okay_ with Trunks calling me his dad?"

"Do not take it as any sort of compliment, weakling." Vegeta grunted, even though his words didn't have enough bite behind them to make Yamcha think he meant to offend. "If the boy wants to call you such a thing, so be it. I don't care."

"You're lying." Bulma walked towards her husband with determination burning in her eyes, "You _do_ care. But... It's not for the reason we think, is it?"

"You know no-"

"Vegeta. We have a son together. We're married. You've lived with me for years. Cut the bullshit."

The prince frowned at his wife. But he soon turned around with a grunt, as if he didn't want to continue talking.

This whole situation was unbelievably _odd_. Not only because of the whole family dynamics that they had not been aware of until right now having influenced Trunks in the way they had. But also because Vegeta didn't seem as bothered by it as a man with so much pride as him should be.

"In saiyan culture, it was customary for a warrior to have more than one mate. The offspring they produced were accustomed to having more than just _two_ parents."

Oh. That explained it... Vegeta just wanted his son to experience something that tied in directly to his saiyan heritage. Considering how he wasn't trying to beat discipline and a warrior spirit into him yet, Yamcha could say this wasn't really the worst bit of saiyan culture the kid could experience. Yamcha could even understand to some extent why Vegeta hadn't said anything against it. It _was_ pretty weird to have a couple that had more than one person... Yamcha had heard of those relationships, but they were usually seen as _weird_ on this planet.

"What do you mean more than one mate?" Bulma hissed, "Is this your way of telling me that you want to cheat on me?"

"Of course not!"

"Then what could it be? You never told me anything about that part of your culture."

Well, Yamcha could understand why Vegeta had never told Bulma about it. She had always been the jealous kind... She'd never been too happy to share with others, too... And she could get to be kind of distrustful when she was missing sleep...

Maybe she was tired right now... How long had it been since she last had a proper sleep?

Bulma continued to pester Vegeta for answers. Yamcha remained quiet, wondering if he should try and convince Bulma to get some sleep or if he should go to Trunks' room to see how he was doing. Hmm... Maybe he could even get Trunks to answer some questions about this whole mess so he could figure out the best way to explain to him _why_ he couldn't Yamcha his dad.

Just as he turned around to move to Trunks' room, what was left of Yamcha's mostly stabilized world was sent into a dizzying confusion once again.

"I want him as a mate!"

..~..~..

Thank you all for the reviews and love! Next chapter will be last chapter.

Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

He woke up to find Trunks peering down at him with a confused frown on his lips.

"Huh? Trunks?"

"Oh, good. You're awake, dad. I was worried when father brought you in here."

Groggily, the man tried to sit up. But he immediately regretted it, seeing how a splintering ache suddenly tore through the left side of his neck,neck all the way to his left shoulder, making him groan out in pain and clutch at the area.

"What happened?" He questioned the boy, looking him in the eyes even as pain threatened to consume his every thought.

The last thing he could remember was having witnessed yet another argument between Vegeta and Bulma. They had been arguing over saiyan culture and how Bulma did not appreciate not having been told about a saiyan's predisposition to having more than one mate. This had all started, of course, because Trunks was now insisting on wanting to call him 'dad' instead of anything with less personal ties.

"I don't know." The boy answered honestly, moving so he was beside Yamcha so he could help him sit up. "Father carried you in here... Mom didn't look happy..."

Even at four years old, Trunks was a strong kid. So Yamcha didn't feel too bad over accepting his help to actually be able to sit up. Then, once he was upright, he looked around himself to find that he was inside of the boy's room. There was a pillow on the floor and he guessed someone had put it underneath his head at some point while he'd been unconscious.

He frowned softly at the boy's words, taking note of his tone. Trunks had been happy and bubbly when he had arrived at the Briefs' home. Now, though, he looked sad and downcast.

"Hey, buddy, what's wrong?" He asked Trunks, turning his body so he could put a hand on the boy's shoulder.

He winced when pain shot up his shoulder, but he ignored it and finished his motion. Then, once his hand was firmly on Trunks' shoulder, he smiled softly, "Come on, you can tell me anything. You know that, right?"

"Yeah..."

Trunks didn't look happy.

 _Dammit_.

This was exactly what Yamcha wanted to avoid with the whole 'dad' situation.

Just like Vegeta had stated before, Trunks was a smart kid. He wasn't as thick headed as many of the children Yamcha had come across in his years. And he was extremely good at being able to read a situation, even though couldn't understand it completely.

If he had seen his father carrying an unconscious Yamcha while his mother was angry behind them... Well, it would take someone that was unbearably thickheaded and ignorant to not be able to understand that something was wrong... It would take a _Goku_ to not be able to understand. And, even then, Yamcha highly doubted his ignorant friend would remain _completely_ oblivious to something being off.

"Did I do something wrong?" Trunks blurted out after a few seconds of sad silence, looking directly into Yamcha's eyes. His baby blues were filled with confusion, worry, and fear. And Yamcha's heart squeezed unbearably. "You guys were fighting because of me, right?"

"Oh, Trunks, no..." Yamcha breathed out, but soon stopped himself.

He couldn't lie to the kid. Not only would he feel guilty over it, but he'd also get caught by Trunks immediately. He was extremely good at catching lies. And Yamcha was pretty bad at keeping his cool when it came to lying to him.

The man took a moment to capture all of his thoughts. Then he pulled Trunks towards him so he could hug him. Trunks moved towards him without any hesitation, slowly wrapping his arms around the human's neck as the man's own arms wrapped around him. Yamcha had to stop himself from wincing when Trunks tightened his arms a bit too much around his neck and forced even more pain to shoot through his whole left side.

"We weren't arguing, Trunks. I can promise you that." Well, _he_ hadn't been arguing. "We were just talking a few things out. Adults sometimes can't understand one another, so we have to talk some issues out. But talking doesn't mean that we're angry at each other _or_ that we're arguing."

"Like what?"

"Huh?"

"Talking about what?" The boy pressed, catching Yamcha completely off guard. He had _not_ expected that to be his question. He had expected more questions concerning the oddities of adults- which was usually what Trunks chose to be curious about whenever the topic came up. "Like when are you finally going to come live with us?"

Yamcha blanched.

_Oh boy..._

"What?"

The boy pulled away from the hug and looked at him with a slightly annoyed frown on his lips... Yamcha took a moment to notice that, if he were to cross his arms over his chest, he'd look almost exactly like Vegeta. "You're my dad. I love you."

"I love you too, Trunks, but-"

"Mom and father love you too! So why can't you live with us here? Why do you always have to leave?" His voice raised just enough to make his displeasure with the situation clear. And Yamcha was left wordless.

What was he supposed to tell the kid?

 _The truth_.

"Trunks," He sighed, smiling softly, "I'm not really _supposed_ to be living with you. I've got my own place and my own life. I love you very much and you're an extremely important part of my life, but I'm not-"

"But you're my dad!"

"Trunks-"

The door into Trunks' room opened at that point, making both males momentarily forget what they were talking about to see the newcomer. In the doorway stood both of Trunks' parents, Bulma looking rather worried, even as Vegeta kept that perpetually angered look on his face.

"Hey, Yamcha. I see you're awake."

Yamcha blinked at how suddenly awkward she sounded and nodded dumbly. "Uh... Yeah... Hey, just why was I unconscious?"

Both adults looked away at that point. And Yamcha began to understand what had happened.

"Vegeta kind of freaked out... Sorry about that, Yamcha. He's got a bad habit of knocking people out whenever something doesn't go his way." Bulma looked completely apologetic as she said this, all the while Vegeta made a point of looking at anywhere that _wasn't_ in Yamcha's direction.

For some reason, it did not surprise Yamcha _at all_ to find out that Vegeta reacted violently after he admitted to wanting some guy as a secondary mate, aside from Bulma. But taking it out on him was _not_ nice. He got it, he was a weakling that had no need to know about some of Vegeta's deepest secrets. But he didn't have to knock a guy out!

"Is dad finally going to live with us?" Trunks challenged almost immediately, making Yamcha gasp and stare at him in shock. "He should be here with us. It's not fair that he's not here all the time!"

Bulma glanced over at Vegeta, as if looking for reassurance. And the man nodded at her, even though he didn't say a single thing.

Yamcha breathed out a sigh of relief.

It was good that Bulma would be the one to explain the whole situation to her son. He didn't think he could handle breaking the kid's heart. He was too much of a softy to ever want to cause him any harm.

"You're right, Trunks. It isn't fair. But _we_ can't decide for him."

Yes, exactly, Bulma... Wait, no, that wasn't right! How was any of this _not_ fair? It was what was supposed to be _normal_! Fair and normal weren't mutually exclusive all the time, but, in this case, they were!

Yamcha felt his stomach begin to drop.

"We'd love for Yamcha to live here with us." The woman continued; just like Yamcha's stomach continued to fall from its proper place. "But he's a grown man that can make his own decisions. Although, if he wanted to live with us," Now Bulma turned her eyes to him, suddenly looking so vulnerable that Yamcha was transported to decades ago, when they had first fallen in love. "We'd be happy to have him here with us."

Oh, his stomach just met his feet.

For a second, one could hear a pin fall in the room. Yamcha stared at Bulma in unapologetic shock.

Had she said what he had thought he heard her say? Because there was _no way_ Bulma Briefs had just invited her ex-boyfriend to live in the same home as her son and husband. It just didn't make any sense. Nor did it fall into her character. They were good friends now, yes, but that didn't mean they didn't have years' worth of baggage trailing behind them.

"Yay! Finally! Did you hear that, dad? You can come live with us! We'll finally be a family!"

He should put his foot down.

Yamcha was a man that had his own life to live. He had a successful baseball career that constantly pulled him away from his apartment. He had Puar to take care of. He had a pretty nifty apartment on the good side of town. He had his own set of responsibilities to take care of that he just couldn't put down because Trunks wanted to indulge in fantasy he couldn't even understand.

Although... One of his biggest responsibilities was Trunks himself. He wasn't the boy's father, no matter what he wanted to believe. But he had invested a whole lot of time and love into how he was raised. Bulma took a lot of his advice when it came to their son. So, in essence, he had been yet another parent Trunks had been fortunate enough to have.

Kami help him... _His greatest responsibility was Trunks_.

He wanted to tell the boy that he wasn't about to let everything go just to move in with him.

But then Trunks jumped onto him, making him shout out in pain and fall backwards. But Trunks just laughed and cheered, already beginning to babble about all of the good things they would do once he had finished moving in.

A sleepover in his room was the first thing they _had_ to do. The second thing would be cooking a huge batch of cookies so they could eat until they were sick. And on and on the list went.

Yamcha never stood a chance against the boy.

* * *

He didn't break his contract with the apartment's owner. Instead he kept on renting it, just so Puar could have the place for herself away from the Briefs family (she was still rather wary of Vegeta) and he could have a safe haven to run to in case Vegeta tried to kill him while he was in his temporary new household. He also didn't move any great objects- like his _whole_ wardrobe or most of his valuable trinkets- because he highly doubted Trunks' phase of calling him 'dad' would end in a little bit; they just had to indulge it for a while.

He _did_ , though, pack a big enough suitcase with clothes and supplies so Trunks would think that he had moved all of his important belongings into his home, rather than kept them outside. That way he wouldn't ask him the one question Yamcha didn't want to answer: "Are you planning on leaving again?"

Vegeta was kind enough to carry the suitcase all the way from his apartment to his temporary home on the day he 'moved in'. Yamcha was sure that Bulma had put him up to it because there was no way in hell Vegeta would ever do anything nice for him because he _wanted_ to. Still, forced or not, it had been nice to not have to carry the heavy thing the whole trip. He was strong and still fit enough to make the trip with added weight, but that didn't mean he _wanted_ to do such a thing.

When they arrived at Capsule Corp, Trunks grabbed him by the hand and pulled him into the house; he didn't even wait for his father to land behind Yamcha. He forced the human to follow him into the living room, where Bulma waited for them with a large bowl of popcorn and all of the boy's favorite movies.

That day was one spent watching all of the movies and indulging Trunks' every wish. They were mostly child movies that would bore other people. Yamcha was entertained though, and Trunks kept the adults paying attention by asking countless questions of the movie. If they didn't have an answer, he'd ask them if they liked the movie. And because no one wanted to deal with a saddened child, the adults tried their best to stay invested in the movies.

Midway through the second movie they watched, Vegeta appeared with a couple of boxes of pizza for them to eat. He no longer had Yamcha's suitcase with him and the man merely chalked that up to him having left it in the guest room he'd most probably be staying in for the next week or so.

He was sure that Trunks 'dad' phase would not last more than two weeks. Eventually, he'd grow tired of wanting to enforce having Yamcha around when he noticed that he wasn't all that great an addition to his home. It might take a bit of time, but Yamcha was nothing if not patient when it came to the boy. Yes, he didn't have much patience for other people or other situations. But he cared so much about Trunks that he was willing to put himself through hell and back- waiting for the end of this phase didn't really seem like that bad of a thing. Besides, he got to loaf around Capsule Corp for a bit.

Vegeta sat down with a huff on the large couch they were already on, passed one pizza box over to Bulma, and began to eat from the rest. So Yamcha found himself sandwiched between the saiyan and his wife, all the while Trunks had made himself comfortable on the floor in front of them.

As the hours passed, so did Trunks position. He started off seated on the floor. Eventually, he wound up laying on his stomach, one arm tucked beneath his chin while the other allowed him to grab at the popcorn poised in the bowl in front of him. By the second movie, he'd sat up once more. Then, by the third, he somehow found his way onto Yamcha's lap. First he was sitting, but he eventually fell asleep and laid down over the laps of the three adults in the room.

Yamcha found it to be incredibly endearing. Vegeta didn't say anything _against_ it, so he guessed the man didn't really mind it that much. And Bulma merely cooed over the fact that her son could be so damned adorable.

"Alright. I think that's enough movies for us." Yamcha announced by the time the credits began to roll on the movie, turning to look down at the child splayed over them. "Bedtime."

Trunks was roused from his slumber to halfheartedly protest over having to sleep. But he moved into a more comfortable position for Yamcha to grab him and lift him up. So Yamcha stood up, adjusted Trunks so he wasn't going to fall, made sure to keep his grip tight, and began to make his way towards the boy's bedroom. He'd done this so many times before that it felt normal- he was actually at ease when bedtime came and he had tuck Trunks in for the night.

When they reached his room, Yamcha pulled the covers off of the bed, laid Trunks down, and tucked him right back up with the blanket and comforter. Luckily, he'd already been dressed in his pajamas when he had arrived and he had run around barefoot for the last half of the day, after Yamcha had taken off his own shoes during the second movie.

"Goodnight, Trunks." He laid a gentle hand over the boy's forehead for a moment, then turned to leave.

He wasn't allowed to, though, because a smaller, warmer, hand suddenly grabbed onto his own. He turned around to look back at Trunks in surprise, only to find him blinking sleepily over at him.

"You... You'll be'ere in mornin'?" He barely slurred out, making Yamcha's heart warm immensely.

"Yeah. I will be."

Even through his sleepy haze, Trunks was able to smile brightly over at him. Even though the brightness of said smile was bogged down by how tired he looked.

"An'... An' you'll show me fightin'uff?"

Yamcha wasn't sure if Vegeta would want his precious son to learn fighting styles that he undoubtedly thought were below him. But Trunks was sleepy right now; he probably wouldn't even remember this conversation.

"Sure thing, kiddo. Now go to sleep."

As if Yamcha had uttered out an actual spell, Trunks yawned loudly, turned onto his side, and promptly fell asleep.

For a couple of seconds, Yamcha stood there, watching Trunks sleep. A pang of 'you could be mine' hit him momentarily, managing to annoy him for feeling such a thing. He'd already made his peace with having lost his chance with Bulma- he didn't need to feel like this whenever he looked at Trunks. Besides, Trunks loved him enough to complicate their lives. He was almost Yamcha's son. And that was good enough for him.

Yamcha decided to stop by the guest room to fetch some pajamas before he went to bathe and prepare for his own slumber. So he crossed the long hallway, towards the last door to the left, and opened it. He had fully expected to see his luggage thrown haphazardly over the room. He had even been prepared to find his clothes strewn all around after Vegeta had decided to not take any care of the suitcase.

He did not find either of these scenarios. Instead, he found absolutely _nothing_ inside the guest room that had to do with him. It simply held the customary bed, drawers, and nightstand. But there was nothing of his.

 _Weird_.

The man decided to head back into the living room to ask Bulma just what had happened with his stuff. She most probably knew and Vegeta most probably wouldn't want to answer him. Besides, Vegeta would most probably already be back in the gravity room, training his ass off.

Yamcha was surprised to find Vegeta still in the living room with Bulma. They were conversing quietly, as if they didn't want to be overheard, but Vegeta suddenly stopped.

He must have heard Yamcha walk up.

"Uh, hey, guys. Trunks is sleeping, so you don't have to worry about him for tonight." He informed them, suddenly feeling extremely awkward as he shuffled his feet and they continued to stare at him. "Where's my stuff? It's not in the guest room."

"Why would it be there?" Vegeta suddenly blurted out, making Yamcha look at him quizzically.

"Why _wouldn't_ it be there?"

Bulma sighed, shook her head, and frowned over at Vegeta. "You didn't talk to him."

"Of course I didn't. This is not a matter up for discussion."

She looked absolutely scandalized. "Vegeta! You can't force somebody to do stuff like this!"

"Of course I can. He is so terrified of me he'd never say no." The saiyan remarked, half-proud, half-condescending. He crossed his arms over his chest and smirked softly, "Besides, why would anyone ever say no to me?"

Yamcha had _absolutely_ no idea what was going on in front of him. Yet again. That happened a lot when it came to these two, he noticed.

Bulma stared at her husband for a couple more seconds before she threw her hands up in dismay, scoffed in disbelief, and finally turned to Yamcha in irritation. "Yamcha."

"Yeah?"

She froze for a second, eyes going wide, then glared over at her husband. "You're not going to make me do this, are you?"

Yamcha felt the need to take a step back. He wasn't sure what was going on. But he was very much aware that Vegeta could kill him with a _look_. So he wasn't particularly eager to be around him if Bulma managed to piss him off because of whatever thing it was that they were arguing about now.

The saiyan shrugged and smirked almost predatorily. "My strategy is fool-proof, woman. If we take him now, he could never possibly say no. Besides," Suddenly, Vegeta turned to Yamcha with an almost _hungry_ look in his eyes, making the human take yet another step back and lose some of the color on his skin. "You cannot tell me you wouldn't want to see just how far we can push until he breaks."

Yamcha didn't like that look in Vegeta's eyes.

It was the kind of look he'd get whenever he and Bulma would leave on their _long_ dates. It was the kind of look that let Yamcha know that he'd need to stay the night with Trunks because his parents would be up to activities that weren't appropriate for children. It was the kind of look that Vegeta would only ever get when it came to _Bulma_.

So... If it was supposed to be for Bulma... Just why in the world was he looking at him like that now?

"I need to have a serious conversation with you about what constitutes as rape again, don't I?" Bulma sighed with a disappointed shake of her head. But she soon turned to Yamcha, a determined strength clear in her eyes. "Yamcha; what do you know about saiyan mates?"

The man wracked his brain for information for a while. He knew that Bulma and Vegeta were mates because that's what Vegeta would call her whenever he was feeling extremely possessive. He also knew, because of Vegeta a couple of days ago, that it was normal for saiyan warriors to have more than just one mate. Aside from that, though, he knew nothing.

"Less than you." He eventually decided on, which made Bulma nod.

"Okay. That's not a lot." She deemed, but soon stood up and walked towards him. Yamcha suddenly felt extremely small, even though the woman was shorter than her. "I won't sugar coat this, Yamcha: Vegeta wants you as his second mate."

Yamcha blinked at the woman.

Then he blinked at the saiyan.

Then he pointed at himself, "Me?"

She looked legitimately taken aback by his confusion. "Yes.. Who else would it be?"

Yamcha shrugged softly and admitted, "I just thought Vegeta was talking about someone else when he said that he 'wanted him' as a mate, y'know? Why would he ever want me?"

Vegeta was beside him in a flash, heavy hand holding onto his neck in a tight grip that didn't hurt, but assured him he would not be able to escape. "Are you questioning my judgements, weakling?"

Yamcha stared wide eyed and fearful at the shorter man, stuttering over what he could answer. Luckily, Bulma came in to save him by smacking Vegeta upside the head and pointing an angered finger directly at his eyes.

"Stop that! How can you expect Yamcha to be your mate if you're constantly belittling and threatening him?"

Vegeta's grip on his neck didn't loosen. But a sick smirk did ooze onto his lips, sharp fangs glinting almost threateningly in the light. "Have you not figured it out, woman? He's a _masochist_."

Heat began to rush into his face at the promises of danger that began to flash in Vegeta's eyes. But Yamcha was able to look away from the man for long enough to notice Bulma's own face become reddened.

He'd known the woman long enough to know which blush was which. And this wasn't a blush that was purely born from awkward embarrassment.

Kami help him... He was surrounded by crazy people.

"Bulma..." He cleared his throat uncomfortably, suddenly becoming incredibly aware of the pressure on his neck. "Are you alright with what you two are thinking about? Like... With what that would imply for _us_?"

She collected herself in a second. And she smiled softly, "I never stopped loving you, Yamcha. We didn't work out before. But we were idiots." She breathed out, looking away from them both to admit, "Seeing how you are with Trunks made me notice something: I love you more than just a friend. You are _so great_."

The woman stepped forward with this, her hand coming up to Yamcha's cheek to stroke his scars gingerly.

There was an extremely clear difference between Bulma and Vegeta's touch. The saiyan's touch was hot and burned like fire. It constricted around him, threatening to destroy everything that he was. But Bulma's was gentle and warm, promising to pick up the pieces after Vegeta was done with him.

He had never stopped loving Bulma. But he had accepted that he would never be able to love her as more than a friend ever again. He had lost to Vegeta and he wasn't too proud to stop himself from admitting that.

"Between you two, Trunks would have a complete experience." She murmured, "What do you say, Yamcha? Join us?"

His mind refused to work for a couple of seconds.

The hand on his neck tightened minutely, making him gasp suddenly and close his eyes.

He nodded and prepared himself for some kind of violent act on Vegeta's part.

Imagine his surprise when, instead of a fist or kick, he found a pair of lips connecting with his own.

Quickly, he opened his eyes to find Bulma kissing him. He didn't move, still much too shocked with what he was seeing to properly react.

Once Bulma had finished up, Vegeta pulled him into a forceful kiss that was mostly teeth and pain. Yet again, there was a pretty huge difference between Bulma and Vegeta's kiss.

Once the saiyan was done with him, Yamcha stood frozen, breathless, and mostly dazed.

After a couple of seconds, he was able to form proper thought. And, after that, he was able to ask one simple question. Which he regretted as soon as Vegeta answered. "So... Can I get my stuff now? I kinda wanna bathe..."

"There's no need for your clothes, human."

Bulma giggled softly as Yamcha suddenly found himself thrown over Vegeta's shoulder, much too stunned to properly try and stop the movement.

Yamcha found himself carried around the Briefs' home as if he were a sack of potatoes instead of an actual human being.

"Don't worry about your stuff, Yamcha. It's already been added to our room." Bulma called from behind them, making Yamcha glance over in confusion.

_Our room?_

He paled.

Oh...

_Oh!_

Well... It seemed that the only person that hadn't been prepared for this development had been him.

Yamcha sighed as he heard Vegeta kick his bedroom door open, suddenly extremely aware of what he had just agreed to.

Well... At least Trunks would be seeing more of him now.

..~..~..

And that is the final chapter!

I hope you all liked this miniature ride! Please review and tell me what you thought.

Also, be on the lookout for _Goten Wants two Dads too_ \- which will be a sort of sequel to this story.

Remember, review!


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